Satirical advice for ordering coffee from @professorpanache
The speaker, dressed formally, delivers a satirical monologue on the etiquette of ordering coffee. He humorously criticizes overly complicated and pretentious coffee orders with an exaggerated example, then provides a series of rules for how to order coffee respectfully and simply, such as knowing the jargon without weaponizing it, keeping customizations minimal, and always being polite to the barista.
Creator: @professorpanache on Instagram
Transcript
Gentlemen, ordering coffee is not a game of whoo rank sound the most complicated. If your order sounds like some Shakespearean soliloquy, just stick with Red Bull. There's no need to declare, I love the double dressed Dorreto, half caff, lightly kissed by the steam of Himalayan yak milk that was ethically plucked at dawn, lavender infused, hand stirred, organically whispered, moon harvested espresso. Unless, of course, that is your actual order, in which case, the world now knows why you have no
Topics: Coffee, Social Skills, Satire